Part 2 Crisis of Individualism, Globalization from Below, A Revolution

Part 2 

Crisis of Individualism, Globalization from Below, A Revolution

(I took more freedom in my interpretations on this part and added in many of my own thoughts to this section of the overview of the book Jesus Today).

Crisis of Individualism

  There is a growing crisis of individualism throughout the world but most strongly in western industrialized countries. We highly value the ideas of self-made, autonomous, and self-sufficiency. These ideas or values in themselves are not bad and even can contribute to our freedom and happiness. There seems to be a duality between being free and capable, but still realizing we play a part in the whole of something bigger than ourselves. For me it comes down to having the right relationship (where is the heart at behind the action) whether its with personal growth, self-sufficiency, autonomy or with our own spiritual journey each have the possibility of enhancing and enriching our lives and the lives of our brothers and sisters or the possibility of destroying or altering that right relationship in our lives and all those both near and far. Spiritually we are called to continuously grow inwardly and develop a deeper relationship and love for God. As Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Yet, this is only the first part of the call. 

  The second part, is the call to action. In James 2:14-17 “What good is it my brothers and sisters, if someone says they have faith but does not have works? Can that faith save them? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “go in peace be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” We also have the responsibility, which should be a privilege, to seek to grow physically, intellectually, and emotionally to develop our God given abilities and talents to find our place or role(s) in making this world a more loving, compassionate, peaceful, and joyful place to live. In other words, bringing a little piece of heaven down on earth. In Luke 17:21 it says, “The kingdom of God is within you” we need to seek it and bring it forth here on earth. In Romans 12:4-6 “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.” 

Some words of wisdom which sums up the essence of spiritual/personal growth inwardly and then putting it into action goes like this. “When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realized that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have had an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.” 

One of the biggest ways we can see this growing wrong relationship with individualism is through our destruction of the environment. We have brought the environment/planet to the edge of chaos through our selfish interests and shortsighted actions. We have known about global warming and the affects we are having on the natural order of the environment for many years, yet we lack the will to give up our selfish and unsustainable practices. We are surely on course to see the opposite of heaven on earth if we don’t change from within and make the necessary changes that are imperative for all 7 billion of us who call earth home. 

Globalization from Below

Recent history and history in general, has proven that the enormity of human suffering has been extreme. The two world wars, racial and ethnic hatred in the U.S. with African Americans, Nazi Germany with Jewish population (others), South Africa system of apartheid, British colonization in India during Gandhi’s struggle, and the list could go on for far too long. In our recent history we have seen people challenge these different forms of inhumanity and have shown through various revolutions that there is power behind a message of truth and righteousness, and that the power of the ordinary many can make positive change against the destructive interests of the few. These movements/protest/revolutions have brought us things like an end to slavery, women’s rights, end of colonization (directly), reversal or greatly decreased levels of racism in places like Nazi Germany, South Africa, India, and the U.S. The thing about history is that we either forget our history and the lessons we learned, or should have learned, or we find new ways of creating misery and suffering. 

Today, apart from the huge number of people who are dying from preventable disease, starvation, and AIDS, an issue that has been getting huge attention is the growing disparity between the haves and the have-nots. Just in our country alone the disparity between the wealthy and poor is incredible. According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, the richest 1 percent of families (14,000) have over 22 percent of the countries wealth while the bottom 90 percent over (133 million families) have just 4 percent. The same trend that has been happening in our country has also been happening all over the world. The global system we all, more or less, live in, has given rise to a wealthy powerful elite. Through these neo-liberal policies or globalization the system has rewarded policies which disregard the many for the gain of the few. 

The system humanity currently lives in, Capitalism, has the need for continual growth and consumption, which is really a forced materialism, in order for the economy to function or “work”. Yet the basis or root of this foundation is completely irresponsible for our one planet earth with finite resources. An alarming stat from greenchange.org is that if every person on earth used the amount of resources that the average person in the United States does we would need 5 earths in order to meet the resource need. This shouldn’t be a comfortable fact for us to look at, but its necessary to understand the reality, to accept it, and decide to do something about it. A system of infinite growth with a finite planet. Lets think about that one...Not to mention all the spiritual implications of materialism. 

I won’t digress into a tangent on this, but I think its extremely important to raise some questions for us to think about. I’m saying us, meaning people in the U.S., because we currently are the biggest player in this game or the worlds superpower if you will. This is our current situation and “with power comes great responsibility” we have, arguably, the greatest capability and responsibility to ignite some positive changes. I’m not trying to say the United States is the problem and other countries have it right. I have no doubt within this system whatever country has world power/dominance will take advantage of the system as we have. Here are some questions to think about...How do we, a small portion of the worlds population, have such a large control over the natural resources? What does this mean for the vast majority of the worlds population? What does this mean for our future as far as sustainability goes? How do our lifestyles/actions create a demand for the continuation of such disproportional resource allocation? How has the income inequality grown worldwide and what implications does this have for social interactions? Not simple questions to answer but the root causes to these answers all play a significant role in all our lives. 

What is significant, and for me very encouraging, is the base/majority of people who have and are uniting to make their voices heard. The voices from the bottom or base have begun to protest throughout the world with numbers which have not been matched in history against the arrogance, selfish individualism, values and methodology of the system in our global environment. The voices from the bottom/base are beginning to be heard. Even though not all the people protesting are there for the same 

reason(s), and sometimes the message is unclear. As I look out into the world we all live in, I am thankful there are so many who are trying to shed light on the truth of the state of our current world. I can’t, in good conscience, except it, they can’t except it, and when enough of us decide we can do better, way better...we will...together. 

A Revolution

Jesus was not a reformer, he didn’t come to patch up the Judaism or the influential sects of the day (Pharisees, Sadducees, Essenes, 4th Philosophy). He came to turn things upside down for the established religion of the time, or rather, to show us and teach us what life could look like if we lived right side up. Here are some examples where Jesus’s teachings were completely subversive to the status quo of religious teachings. He spoke of turning the other cheek instead of revenge against ones enemies. He spoke of doing good and loving those who hate and curse you. He also taught that our limit of forgiveness should be almost endless for a heart that is sincere about admitting ones faults or failures. 

Jesus was also quite controversial about what he had to say about the rich and the poor. An example is the story of the rich young man in Matthew 19:16-24 “Sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come follow me. When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” I interpret this passage as the difficulty of the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven, not based solely on the riches alone, but on having the wrong relationship with money. Allowing money to have control over us and not being able to relinquish our plentitude to the needs around us. It shows a hardness of heart to not be able to give joyfully in our excess to the needs of our brothers and sisters. 

Another liberating teaching of Jesus was that of his uncompromising belief that all people were equal in their value. He showed this by treating tax collectors, beggars, crippled, and the most lowly and outcasted in the society with the same respect as the high officials and upper class. He also completely disregarded what people said about him (reputation) and was willing to do what was right regardless of the personal cost. Some examples of these controversial teachings in the bible are the stories of the good samaritan, prodigal son, laborers in the vineyard, and the woman caught in adultery. 

Jesus’s spirituality was based on the Torah (Law) but he turned that upside down or right-side up as well. He did not reject the law but came and renewed it. Nolan says, “Jesus felt perfectly free to break the law whenever observance of it would do harm to people.” (pg. 55) Jesus saw many of these laws as human traditions that had been distorted from God’s original plan. He sought to free people from these distortions and showed them the radical freeness of a life lived in complete unison with God’s desired plan. 

Jesus also made a connection with the kingdom of God and a new family. It wasn’t based upon a biological family but rather anyone “who does the will of God.” This can be seen in Mark 3:31-35 where Jesus says, “Who are my mother and my brother.” Jesus indeed was creating a new community/family based on those who showed love to one another, as is the reason so often these “family” members called each other brother and sister. 

The last thing Jesus did was by far the most radical, shocking, and contradictory to expectations of the time. He was/is the messiah and instead of bringing forth the powerful “Rein of God” he preached and lived a message of service, pain and suffering, and ultimately death on the cross. Nothing could have been more contradictory to conventional beliefs. He showed us what life could be like without the distortions of such things as pride, jealousy, envy, lust, anger, and showed us that, “you were called to freedom brothers and sisters. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13. “Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for all.” Matthew 20: 28 So ultimately, Jesus’s revolution was one of fulfilling and showing us what living right side up looks like. “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

I´m not sure how to site this but I referred to the outline and information in this PDF document in helping me write this blog entry. http://www.smd6.co.za/docs/Jesus_Today.pdf 

I have decided this will be my last blog about the book and am planning on adding more stories/activities and pictures from my experience in Bolivia. Via request. 

Part 1 Jesus Today-A Spirituality of Radical Freedom

Jesus Today-A Spirituality of Radical Freedom

by Albert Nolan

Part 1

I read this book a couple weeks ago and wanted to sum up some of the powerful points and themes presented.   

Before I start with themes and points, I want to write a little about why this book was written and what its aim is...

Many book are written on faith(s), spirituality, religion(s), etc. This book tries to reveal what Jesus’s personal spirituality was and holds it up as the mark of measurement for all of us-Humankind. The crisis that humankind is now facing needs a spirituality that Jesus offers us. We have not taken the teachings of Jesus seriously and have wandered into a world of individualism, self-centeredness, consumerism, and have either closed our eyes to the effects of our actions or have done so in ignorance and it has brought us to the edge of disaster. The author sees this spirituality as having relevance beyond the church and writes to an audience of Everyone. If we are to follow Jesus then we have to take seriously what is happening in the world around us and the sign of the times. (Mt. 16:3-4)

1. Hunger for Spirituality-The first example given was the book “The Da Vinci Code” and the popularity of the movie and book throughout the world. This is one example of a barometer on where people are at today. People today seem to have much less confidence in the certainties of the past. (scientific, religious, historical and cultural) Everything is now being questioned regardless of the authority. We live in an age of unprecedented skepticism and academics call this attitude of mind “Postmodernism.”

Modernity and Postmodernism

Modernity was the age of reason and began with the Enlightenment with such names as Isaac Newton, John Locke, Thomas Hobbes, Voltaire, Galileo Galilei, and the list goes on. Contributions by Newton include the law of gravity and Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, which lays the foundations for most of classical mechanics. Locke is known as the Father of Liberalism. His theory of mind is often cited as the origin of modern ideas of identity and self. Hobbes published his work Leviathan which established the foundation of much of Western political philosophy from the perspective of appropriate relationship between individuals and their governments. Voltaire wrote extensively about freedom of religion, freedom of expression, free trade, and separation of church and state. Galileo made improvements to the telescope which allowed a greater understanding of planets and he discovered 4 of Jupiter’s moons. He also was a strong advocate of a heliocentric-sun centered universe, as apposed to the geocentric-earth centered universe, which was a strongly held view of the power/wealth elites of the time including the Catholic church. He was called before the Inquisition and was found guilty of heresy. He was sentenced to life imprisonment but was able to serve his time under house arrest because of extenuating circumstances (health). 

Postmodernism really gained momentum after the two world wars, many failed communist regimes, and religious scandals. From these events, authority has been undermined in one way or another. In the past, people found security and stability in culture and religion, but with the slow disintegration of cultures throughout the world and with the undermining of religious authority there is less for people to feel secure in. Our age is one of increasing insecurity and it only takes one to look at the news to see the growing fear of war, disease, drugs, and lack of resources due to our depleting of our planets resources. All these things lead to feelings of even more vulnerability and instability.  

One reaction to all of this instability is to try and go back to fundamentalist beliefs to regain our security and stability. You can see this taking place in all of the major world religions. This is a response to try and grasp the illusion of certainty. The other response, which Nolan argues is growing and gaining momentum: the search for an appropriate spirituality. This search can be one of two things. 1. an escape from the current circumstances and insecurities or 2. an authentic search for a spirituality which brings out the best in us. Nolan discusses Thomas Merton’s role in trying to address this  desire and how he points to mysticism as a solution that has increased in our day. Mystics have been thought of as rather odd and eccentric, but today their emphasis on experiencing a oneness with God and all things has an increasing relevance and need. This new spirituality is something that seems to be growing outside of the established religious churches, mosques, synagogues, and temples and is seen as separate from religions even though it is rooted in these traditions. Many people who go to the established religious places of worship have been quick to write this off as “New Age” but as Nolan points out, there is no one coherent spirituality or movement that can carry this label. What is clear and evident is that more young people are attracted to spiritual things without necessarily being attracted to specific dogmas and doctrines. One really good example of this spirituality taking form is in the Taize community/worship where over 100,000 young people make pilgrimage each year to France for prayer, bible study, sharing, and community work. 

Part 2 to come...

Give Me Your Eyes

This song has been in my mind and on my heart for the last week or so and I wanted to share it with you. Here are a few of the things that have had a powerful effect on me. 

1. How broken of a world we live in and how many people are spiritually and physically hurting.
2. To see through the eyes of God and recognize our oneness with all people and to strive to love each person as ourselves. (which means we first must love ourselves)
3. Seeking to reach out to those with broken hearts, one’s forgotten, people who are beyond our reach-growing to understand how our local actions play a role positively or negatively in others lives who are beyond our immediate realm.
4. What can I do in my day to day life to have a positive impact on those around me and also those who are beyond me through my actions...
5. Lastly, from Matthew 25: “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me. Then the righteous will answer him, saying, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you did it to me.”

I am pretty new to singing and playing so you will have to bear with me. Its a learning process just like everything else. The words are quite powerful.

Look down from a broken sky

Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breathe in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street

See a girl and our eyes meet

Does her best to smile at me

To hide what’s underneath

There’s a man just to her right

Black suit and a bright red tie

Too ashamed to tell his wife

He’s out of work, he’s buying time

All those people going somewhere

Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

I’ve been here a million times

A couple of million eyes

Just move and pass me by

I swear I never thought that I was wrong

Well, I want a second glance

So give me a second chance

To see the way You’ve seen the people all along

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

Persistent Work-Over and Over Again

I want to expound a bit from my last entry and focus on some truths that have come to the surface while struggling through learning a new language...

I remember last week being quite frustrated, with what seemed to me, slow progress in learning Spanish. I decided to take some time and sit outside to relax and enjoy the beauty surrounding me. As I sat, I stared up at the enormity of the blue sky with the sun shining through the clouds. I saw the beauty of the hills and mountains that surround the city of Cochabamba. I felt the wind blowing against my skin. I allowed myself to let all thoughts and worries subside and to take in the wonders of the nature all around me. As I became in-tuned with the present moment, I noticed the many leafcutter ants that were busy at work throughout the yard. (I know, a bit of a curveball, but keep reading)There were lots of little pieces of leafs being taken in the same direction for their unified final destination. I started to become interested in these ants and what they were doing. I watched the long process from the beginning until they left my sight. Here is what I saw...First the ants would find one of the plants/leaves in the yard and go to work cutting off a piece they could carry. After the piece had been removed, they started walking towards their destination. They, just like us, had their own obstacles they had to overcome. The two biggest challenges were the big rock/gravel pile that they had to go over and the constant wind. Both of these obstacles knocked down the ants numerous times throughout their journey, but they just popped back up and continued down their path working and doing their part in completing the whole. 

More or less what I saw taking place in my backyard

I know it may seem ridiculous, but after watching for awhile I realized these ants had brought to my mind and reminded me of some simple truths on how to achieve success...What I saw was consistent effort through easy and difficult times. I saw a persistent attitude when met with disappointment (being knocked down). I saw the sacrifice of the individual for the good of the group. It brought a smile across my face to realize I had been given the answer to my struggle with learning Spanish, but also a great guide to being successful in any worthy pursuit. 

I would think these simple truths that I have experienced many times throughout my life would be engrained with every new activity I pursue but that hasn’t been the case. I am no exception...I want things the easy way without putting in the time and effort...without building the character of discipline and persistence that takes doing what is contrary and uncomfortable to the body at times...without sacrificing my own desires and wants for the greater good of something bigger than myself. I still need reminders of these things and if they happen to come from watching a group of ants, well, I’ll take it wherever I can get it.   

I read this book a couple years ago and this video talks about some of the points that I was talking about in my blog. It's an interesting watch nonetheless.

Lifelong Conversion

Today I would like to share some thoughts and experiences that have struck me throughout this last week on what it means to strive for conversion-for a lifetime. I remember during my training in Washington, DC, Father Joe Nangle summed it up pretty simply but profoundly. He said something like this...Lifelong Conversion is about being open to the spirit and simply saying yes to making the next right choice...for a lifetime. Easily done right?...Not quite. I remember this simple idea having an impact on me back in September, when I heard it, and it re-struck me again this week. Let me tell you why these words have strong meaning for me. Like any journey in life, if we look to far ahead we can be overwhelmed by the magnitude of it, and we also miss the precious moment which is this one single step-right now. Like the saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”-Confucius In order to be aware of our decisions and actions each day it means we have to be constantly living in a state of contemplative action. This means we can’t say our faith or spirituality is something that only happens on Sunday, before a meal, or before we go to bed. Striving to live with the spirit, the true self-(to awaken to the true self is to know the divine truth of God), or whatever we decide to call it is a choice to grow towards that which is best in us spiritually, physically, and intellectually. Each decision and action taken either helps us strive towards that which is good, lovely, and pure or that which is destructive and decaying. Sometimes the choices are clearly good and bad and we easily know if our choice was right or wrong, but most of our choices fall into a grey category. To me these are the small daily choices that take contemplation and reflection in order to really understand their impact on our lives. Let me give you one example that happened to me during this last week. I am currently in an intensive six week language program. Each day we have close to four hours of classes with four different teachers and are expected to put in a significant amount of time studying at home as well. During this last week I have had a cold and have been feeling a bit run down. I started to allow my body feeling a bit run down to turn into doubt and frustration about me learning a new language. This doubt and frustration then began to turn into a negative attitude which quickly took me out of my inner peace and joy and got me to start pointing fingers at my teacher(s) and family. All of a sudden my teacher(s) became unreasonable with their expectations or weren’t patient enough for my slow learning etc. I started to think my family spoke too quickly, to softly, and slurred words together. They should know I’m just learning, why are they making it so difficult for me to try and understand. It almost felt personal and how I was responding with my body language and attitude was not seeking that which is best within me. Some of these thoughts and feelings lasted for about two days before I was able to reflect and contemplate on my choices and actions. It then became glaringly obvious to me what I was doing. It all started with a small bad choice of allowing frustration and doubt to creep in and that was just enough to fuel me into making another bigger poor choice. Luckily it didn’t take me too long to figure out what was happening. This is such a classic example of how each small choice really is important and is either leading us towards God, our best version of ourself, our true self, or towards destruction, despair, and that which is worst within us.

Thoughts and Pictures from my first week in Bolivia

Two Bolivian family members (Rodrigo-16, Fabio-8) playing soccer

Stephany-5 playing with some friends at the big soccer fiesta. Our family was responsible for making 200 hamburgers the night before to bring to this big party. We had quite the assembly line going. (Ingredients 50 pounds meat, 35 eggs, a bunch of peppers and tomatoes, and seasoning)

Me with Valedia-(cousin) in front of my home for the next 5 weeks

A church close by that I attended last Sunday. It was quite interactive and spirited.

The language school that I attend Monday-Friday. I have 4 teachers that work specifically in different areas of language and culture and all my classes are one on one. I will have 6 weeks of language training before I hit the ground running, walking, or stumbling.

Another picture of Valedia-She is quite outgoing and fun to play with. She helps me with my spanish because she is constantly asking me questions. She also finds it amusing that she (4 yrs old) gets to correct me and teach me basic things in spanish.

A close up of Fabio-center middle row-and his teammates after they won the soccer game and tournament.

Stephany and her cousin Gracia-so cute

Spiritual Journey

This is something I wrote for my training in Washington D.C. It gives a very general overview of my spiritual journey throughout my life. I thought it would be good to start with this so you have an idea of where I am coming from. 

Spiritual Journey

I was born and raised in the Catholic faith. I don’t remember being baptized, but my family kept gifts and cards from that special day. I remember my first communion going up for the body and blood and when I was offered the blood of Christ I had the eucharistic minister ask me, “Now what do you say?” and I said, “I don’t know” and she said, “You are suppose to say Amen.” “Oh, amen.” I had both my first communion and also my first confession while attending St. Francis De Sales elementary school. I have vivid images in my mind of both of these days. I was generally a “good” boy growing up, and I was told these sacraments were important so I did them without too much thought. The next big day was confirmation. I had my god-father, who is a close family friend, as my sponsor. I remember going through the necessary steps in order to be confirmed. I believed in God and proclaimed my faith to be important to me, but it was not alive within me. I was confirmed because I chose to be, but when you grow up being exposed to only Catholicism, with little or no experience of other faiths its not a very authentic experience. These are the monumental days that I remember growing up as a Catholic. In between these big events were the weekly masses we attended, giving up something for lent, being part of church activities, and the things you usually associate with a faithful family. Even though I had faith, I was going through the motions. I really hadn’t challenged my faith or made a strong personal relationship with Jesus. Many times during the week to week services I felt bored and didn’t see or feel the Gospel-Good News coming alive within me or our church community. I don’t think my heart was really open to God, and I felt very lukewarm with my faith and the faith I saw in our church. 

With the feelings of having a lackluster faith, I started to branch out a bit and attend other worship services during college. I enjoyed the services I attended outside the Catholic church more, and I felt my relationship with God, although sporadic, started to grow. I got caught up in the college culture for a couple of years and my faith was inconsistent. I got into playing quite a bit of online poker during my college years and really started to spend a lot of time playing poker to make money. I know you’re thinking how does poker have anything to do with my spiritual journey, but it actually played a significant role. I started to get pretty good at poker and was daily reading blogs of some of the best players in the world online. I was surprised and fascinated to read that a few of the top players in the world were very intellectual and deep thinkers. It surprised me that young players who were making millions of dollars and appeared to have everything by my standards, at the time, were still struggling with being unfulfilled and seeking for purpose and meaning in their lives. In their blogs they would be talking about books about philosophy, religions, history, and anything else that helped them to improve themselves as players but most importantly as better people. One of the players decided to quit playing poker for a year to go to a prestigious university. He wanted to become better educated and it was his way, at the time, to seek out more about the world around him. He had a passion to learn and grow as a more well rounded person and to me this was quite baffling. He had it made or so I thought, and the pure statement of his actions really began to make me think...Having a few of these players as people I was trying to emulate, at least on the poker table, forced me to slowly question myself. I began to rid myself of superficiality and started questioning literally everything. I had this great revelation one day that I knew nothing about almost everything. I started reading books, a concept to me that was very foreign, unless it was a basketball book. As I started to read it opened my eyes to the world around me, and the things I was learning forced me to drastically change my life. I had a choice to either accept the truth through the shattering of my ignorance, or to turn a blind eye and continue down the path of ignorance and deceit I decided the former. 

I really started to ask questions and challenge things that I had previously believed in ignorance. The claim I had made throughout my life is that God is the most important part of my life. Well, I decided it was time to stop giving God lip service and started running towards him instead. This running towards him had to be done in truth and that forced me to start at the very beginning...Is there really a God? Is Christianity really true or do I just believe because of my environment? I had to start from square one and this was a very scary and vulnerable place to be. Admitting that I was asking such questions was difficult for me, but I believed it was essential if I really wanted a real and true experience of God. I started to dive into my preconceived notions of faith and really tear down walls I had built up throughout the years and start from a fresh new foundation that was based on truth in Jesus. I took this time to start reading the gospels, spiritual books, praying more, and even volunteering down in Peru. As I started to pursue God and make him the center of my life, he started to change my heart. In the past, God was someone I had a relationship with on Sunday’s, before I went to sleep in prayer, occasionally in thanksgiving for my blessings, and when I was in times of trouble or need. Now, God is turning into an ever present spirit within me. I started to see God in many different things, whether it was the beautiful Alaskan mountains, or the realization that even the most difficult student to work with is a brother or sister in Christ and was made in the image of God whether they knew it or not. God was slowly making me anew. The things I desired were starting to change, how I saw the world, what was important, and why I am here. God continued to challenge and shape me, and the more I received of Him the more I wanted. He was someone I took joy in. I never had such peace, joy, or love in all my life, and I knew he had forever changed me. 

A few of the awesome kids I got to know during my trip to Peru!

This last year, while I was working up in Alaska, had been a huge year of spiritual growth for me. I got myself involved in a small group from the church I was attending and it was such a fruitful time. I loved being intentional about getting together and worshiping God. We had such a great time together and our small group started to feel like a family in many ways. It’s such a blessing to be striving to get closer to God and have people hold you accountable in love. I started to meet Jeff, a guy from our small group, at six a.m. every Friday. He was a spiritual mentor for me. We would try and read through a certain amount of the bible every week, and then get together and talk about what we had read. We would talk about questions about the bible, any real life concerns or issues, intellectual questions and thoughts, and really shared our lives with each other on a deep level. I would also meet Chris from our small group for lunches, from time to time, and it was another great opportunity for spiritual growth. People from our small group did all sorts of things together like playing ping pong, disc golf, wiffle ball, hiking, and of course worshiping. It was such a joy for me to be a part of a spiritual community like the one I had in Alaska. 

From Left to Right-Justin, Jacob, Me, Jeff, and Chris

       Ever since I had volunteered down in Peru, working with children in education and sports in the summer of 2010, I knew I wanted to work in places of high need. I felt a strong calling to go out and try and walk out what the gospel calls us to with those most in need. At the end of the school year, I had a very difficult decision to  make. I could stay teaching and coaching in Alaska and pursue that path for many years to come, or leave and pursue what I felt God had placed in my heart and that was to work with the poor. It was a very difficult decision for me, but ultimately I had to follow my heart and the passion I felt to serve and walk with the marginalized in the world. 

During much of the year in Alaska, I decided to start the Peace Corps process, because I thought that would be a possible opportunity for me in the future. I was looking for some other possibilities, because I was not sure how long I would be staying in Alaska. I didn’t know if I would have a job in the school the following year, so I felt it would be good to have some options. When the time came for me to make a decision and turn down the job in Alaska, I didn’t have anything for sure lined up for the coming year. 

During the summer, as I continued to pray and seek God’s path for my life I really felt like the door to the Peace Corps was closing for me. I started to search out some other options and that is when I found the Franciscan Mission Service. I sat down and had breakfast with a Secular Franciscan who runs some schools and serves in a leper colony in Brazil. He was the one who introduced me to the Franciscan Mission Service. I had a bit of a wall up at first about a Catholic organization not to mention the fact that I didn’t know anything about St. Francis. 

I really felt like God was softening my heart at the time and wanted to break down some of the walls I had built up in ignorance about the Catholic faith. The more I learned about what St. Francis and the Franciscans stood for-(radically walking out the gospel) it really rang true to what I believe. I won’t go into all the small details, but even after I had found the Franciscan Mission Service, I had many questions and some constraints. I thought it was unlikely that the Franciscan Mission Service would work out. I kept praying, “God close doors and opportunities that you don’t want for me and open doors and opportunities that you do want.” Well, the Franciscan Mission Service turned out to be a huge open door and it seemed to be so much from God. It was something I wasn’t expecting and to be honest was a little hardened to at first. God once again worked within me to show my hardness of heart and it was another opportunity for conversion towards Him and to release more of my sinful self. God has an amazing way of changing our hearts and bringing us closer to Him. So here I am, excited with the amazing opportunity that lies ahead, but most important, excited and filled with love for Him who sends me.